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6-Step Guide to Reigniting You 🔥 (Oct 26)

6-Step Guide to Reigniting You 🔥 (Oct 26)

6-Step Guide to Reigniting You 🔥

October 26, 2023

Reading Time: 5 Minutes

You know, sex is one of the most intimate and personal aspects of your life.

Being candid is challenging. Especially when not knowing how. Or what to say. Your social feed isn't showing that, and built up tension is blocking.

Building trust. Deepening commitment. Opening up. Letting in. Having courage? Being vulnerable needs courage.

The courage to talk about what you're going through, how you feel, and what you need. Especially when it’s difficult, and at times hard for your partner(s) to hear. Hard for you, yourself to hear.

Grab a cup of tea or a glass of wine, some water is fine. Make yourself comfortable, and let's embark on a journey.

EXPERT INSIGHT

Dear Feeling Seen,

My partner and I have been together for 5 years. When we first started dating we had frequent, amazing sex. Now, our relationship is still passionate, but I have zero interest or desire for sex. What can I do to make myself want sex more?

Your Friend,

Reignite My Light 📍Washington D.C

Dear Reignite My Light,

We ebb and flow like a butterfly in the wind while the sky is clear. When the weather changes, a loss of desire can ground our sexual pleasure.

In the journey of sex and intimacy, it's not unusual to experience shifts in desire and pleasure. You're not alone in feeling that the spark of passion has dimmed.

You know this isn't a relationship death sentence. In fact, it's an opportunity for growth and exploration.

Let’s get you out of this [not] death sentence early, for good behavior… with the hopes of bad behavior to follow. For you & your partner in the laundry room 😏.

The importance of pleasure extends beyond the bedroom laundry room. It's vital for your well-being.

Why the Dip in Desire?

The fire in a relationship summits and breakthroughs over time.

To climb to the summit, we must break-through. Real life takes center stage, with work, bills, family, and stressors becoming part of the story.

All these and many more things can change how much you want to have sex and all the while make you miss the way it used to feel.

Surveys report that 23% of adults had no sex in the previous year. This sexual recession did not favor any age group and included people from 18 to 30 years old as well.

Nurturing Desire and Connection

You want to know how to navigate these challenges and reignite your desire? Here's where the fun begins:

Couple Rituals: "Date nights" and scheduled "play time". Especially for some in today's busy world.
Quality Time: Consider practical solutions like childcare & housekeeping, freeing up quality time. Consider compromising with smaller things like bedtime.

Exploring the Root Cause

Sexual arousal challenges are multi-faceting. Take a moment to check in with yourself.

Consider factors such as cardiovascular conditions, mental health, relationship dynamics, and personal beliefs. If taking medication, know the effects they have.

Pleasure is vital to our physical and mental well-being.

This isn’t the type of pleasure we had in mind! Ha

Keep in Mind:

Regulate your emotions: With changing how you think about a situation. Deep breathing, and mindfulness techniques.
Emotions can be contagious: When one partner is feeling a strong emotion the other can “catch” it. Know when playing “Tug of War: Relationship Series”
Syncing breath and touch in connection: Co-regulate your nervous system. When you breathe together & heartbeats sync. Your brain waves shift into an 'altered' state. You’re now calm.
Tantra: Try Yab-Yum. Connect deeper, let go of attachments that aren’t serving you and pour gasoline on your libido.

Tools to Reignite the Flame

Now, let's equip you with the tools to recharge your passion:

inside-outside-same

Take Expectation Away: Feeling an unpleasant “type” of way? And your libido is being punished. Note that what is inside will manifest on the outside.
Foreplay Mastery: Dense nerves and mechanics throughout. The possibility of creating life is within our women. Pure craftsmanship went into creating you.
- Take time off the table, get out of your head & into your body - your partner is joyous to know you’re in bliss.
- Penis holders, on average it takes 2 - 7 min from first pump to ejaculation. It will serve you greatly to love foreplay.
Embrace Exploration: Be bold with your sexual energy. With mutual consent, try different modalities, role play, new locations, new “props”. food anyone?
Do Your Self-Care: Stress can dampen your mood. Also affect the part of the brain responsible for sexual activity. Take time for self-care and relaxation.

Other Avenues to Boost Desire

Explore, and keep an eye on factors like birth control and diet, which can sway your hormonal dance.

We have too many stories on what those hormones can do!

Don't hesitate to consult with your healthcare provider to address any underlying concerns.

Let's Dive In

Oh you like it with sound on, huh! Role-playing fantasies that will give your sex life new life, listen here.

If you're ready to explore your own desire, take this intriguing libido quiz. It's a fun way to check in on your desires and preferences.

Your well-being is our highest priority. Share your experiences, concerns, or adventures. It's private, submit below. Here's to a life free from suffering and filled with bliss.

Submit your story and question HERE!

CULTURAL DIVERSITY

Movement increases libido. Increase your vitality and sexual wellbeing with these examples:

Swimming - Boosts blood flow, improves flexibility, and reduces stress
Frog pose - Improves flexibility for love making
Hinge - Keeps back and legs from giving out
Kegels - Strengthens pelvic floor muscles for more intense orgasms
Cat/Cow Stretch - Limbers spine for foreplay
Pelvic thrust - Stimulates glutes, calves, and hamstrings to build stamina

Note: This content is only for informational and educational purposes and should not be considered therapy or any form of treatment. We cannot respond to personal requests for advice over the internet.

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Today's cheeky content was written by: Erin Alexander, Dr. Hall, Mike Johnson

Editing by: Mike Johnson

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