are you besties w your partner? 🙄

Do you feel that you and your partner need to be best friends for the relationship to work? 

You know having a close friendship with our partner does do wonders. 

For the body, mind, sex and spirit. 

Those with a close friend-relationship get twice the health benefits.

What really does do wonders is loving that it’s May Masturbation Month!

Creating a space of comfort and safety goes a long way to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Is your partner your bestie? Let’s find out. 

Take this quiz to see if your partner is also your BFF:

• Do you call just to say ‘hello’?

• Do you laugh at the same quirky jokes?

• Is your non-verbal communication understood?

• Do you have fun together by yourselves?

• Can you tell them your secrets?

• Do explore and discover new interests together?

• Do you know your favorite meal?

• Do you discuss and decide major decisions?

• Do you know your weird habits?

• Do they know what you need to feel secure?

How many did you get right? What about your partner!?

“What does it mean when your partner/spouse is not your best friend? Is this a detriment to the relationship or a strength?”

Opening up.. my partner is great, and we are the best of friends.

For strength here is what we do to stay close:

• Talk open and honestly about everything-just like BFFs

• Respect and support each other’s differences

• Offer acts of love because we care

• Give reassurance that we always have each other’s back

We are strong and I bet you and your partner are too.

To be or not to be close friends with our partner is an easy answer - hell yes! 

Being in a relationship with someone you adore and have devotion for! You enjoy spending time and sharing secrets is the best. No questions asked.

Check out these 7 benefits for being in a bestfriend-relationship. What would you add?

• Foundation of trust and loyalty

• Spending time with someone who knows us in/out

• Boost of feel-good chemicals when holding hands

• Oxytocin overload when locking lips

• Safe space to be who we are without feeling weird

• A shoulder to cry on when times are tough

• A voice we can trust to tell us the truth when we need it

Guilty confession…the best friend spot was taken years ago before I met her.  Sorry…😂 😂 my military battle buddies would be pissed if so 😛 .

A best-friend is someone who has been and will be there through many ups and downs.

As partners can come and go, a best-friend is there to pick up the pieces - we think. Besties have gone too though.  

Think about all the late night ‘Chunky Monkey’ ice cream, talking shi! and getting drunk now with tears and ‘never agains’. 

A BFF is a tough spot to earn and should not be given up so easily because we fall in love.

Besides, it’s a lot of pressure for ONE person to be your everything. Who would we talk to when the chips are down in our relationship?

Having a BFF as your partner is a great idea, but it is not necessary. 

What is more important is that we all feel supported when support is needed. It feels like heaven knowing my partner is there when I need a cuddle and silly joke.

There are... some major benefits to having a BFF outside of our relationship. Having a BFF who is not our partner helps us maintain our identity. 

It’s important that partners love each other for who they are. That’s the beauty of acceptance. 

We don’t want to give that up. It’s so awesome when my partner shows pure love by acknowledging my individuality. I feel seen and heard!

Are you concerned about not being your partner’s best-friend? Here is what you can do about it:

• Talk to your partner about what is troubling you and encourage them to share their thoughts

• Listen to their perspective. Not deaf with your perception - you'll have better discernment 

• Consider couples counseling to get a third perspective on your relationship

• Respect the other person’s boundaries if they do not consider you a BFF

• Reflect on your values and see if they align with your partner’s values

• Embrace the fact that the two of you have other friends.

  • You two also have a special intimacy with each other that no one else shares

Trip Down Memory Lane

Try to think about when you first met.  Who was the first person you told?   Your best-friend, right?

 I know I did. Guess why? Because that is my best-friend and still is.

 Try not to get caught up worrying about whether your partner is your bestie. If they are, great for you. 

If they are not, what matters is that you are close. Love each other, and value the joy of each other’s company. 

No one can be everything for anyone. And no one can be everything your partner is to you. That’s the beauty of balance.

So, nah, it’s not a negative thing if your partner is not your BFF.

As long as you are checking the boxes. We want for you a healthy and fulfilling relationship with mutual pleasure. 

What more can you ask?  Do always know that your joy is self derived. 

Help is available

Speak with someone today.

Text or Call: 988

24/7 Any Day. 

Mental Health touches us all. Please reach out [genuinely] by email if struggling. W Love

What do you feel about tonight’s note?

Don’t leave me on seen, reply. Would love your feedback.