The Birds & The Bees 🐝

Ever watch a movie with your parents then a sex scene comes on? 

Next thing you know you’re being interrogated about your sexual history 🤢. 

I get it, but like.. can they not!

My mom walked in on me during a sexual act! The hat was out of the bag. To this day it’s thee most awkward incident with my mom. EVER!

Game I got from my Momma!

• Never make someone a priority when they treat you like an option

• A person who cares for you respects you for who you are

• Pleasure does not require pain

• Character makes the person

• Kindness is a learned skill

“I’m always lost when my parents ask me about my “romantic life”. How open should I be with my parents about my personal/sexual life? Especially since I’m grown and don’t live under their roof.”

Not everyone has this treasure.

The treasure in that they don’t judge you, rather they make discernments for your safety and joy.

Half the time they're bored and want the tea ☕.

As someone who's soul has left their body. Being caught with my hand in the cookie jar.. our parents might not be our first option to talk with.

Especially when talking about things that go bump in the night.

Should they be though… What are your thoughts!? 

There are a lot of parents out there with ALL the experience. Why not tap in and draw from their wisdom.

Wait!

There isn’t much to talk about if you don’t feel comfortable talking. A lack of safety and security are barriers to open and trusting conversations:

• Do I feel safe having this conversation?

• Do I feel comfortable having this conversation?

• Do I trust the person I’m talking to?

Yes to all 3? Okay… Let’s talk about it! 

No to any? Follow your comfort and ask yourself: Is it necessary to discuss? Only you’ll know. 

To open up or not is a decision you must make based on your experiences. No two situations are alike, even if the landscape looks familiar.

That goes with a sexual partner or a conversation. 

Some parents encourage being an open book, often because - they themselves are an open book.

When my parents share personal experiences with me, I’m able to see them in a new light.

Our parents experienced a lot prior to us. Societal norms were also way different, keep that in mind if you decide to open up yourself.

As for how much information should you share, it depends…

Usually we share when feeling comfortable or ready to talk.

What I choose to share is based on my comfort level and readiness to emotionally and mentally unpack.

If I feel there is a need for them to know, then I will tell.

Do you feel your parent’s have valuable insight? If so, go direct to the source. That’s what parents are for.

I've always heard that there should be no shame.

There are certain details that I do keep private.

That’s not only for my mom, rather anyone. There are some details about my life that are for my eyes and ears only.

It is personal in this case. It's ok that some things are.

You have to look at your situation through the eyes of your personal experiences. 

Look over your past experiences with your parents.. how do they make you feel when you discuss serious or even playful matters? 

Are boundaries respected and everyone benefits from sharing, do you.

Your parents may have experiences. Insights, or stories that can help you navigate your world of excitement and pleasure.

Who are we to tell you any different?

There are good reasons not to share and good reasons to share our personal life with our parents/family.

Of course, if there is no trust or emotional safety, you are not going to share much. 

 These are some good reasons to share information:

• Safety. On a date, being in an “alternative” lifestyle or you're w a crazy

• Iron sharpens iron, you don't know what you don't know

• If you believe there is some benefit

A conversation around what’s happening in our country can be a soft introduction.  

Asking their thoughts is a way to break the ice or divert the conversation if it’s too soon. 

Be inquisitive and get them to share a bit of their sexual experience(s). News from this past week:

Abortion Pills = Controlled Substance 

Legalization of Same-Sex Marriage - It’s Been 20yrs

Casual Sex is on the Fall

Your thoughts on tonight’s note? Reply.

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