Break the Silence:

Your sex should be remarkable, not excruciatingly painful! Yet some studies share that more than 60% of women experience pain during sex. 

Instead of strict focus on the symptoms, we're here to tackle the root cause. While everyone else is playing it safe, we're out here saying,

"Nah, let's dive deep and figure this out."

A survey of U.S. adults from December 2021 found that 57% of men and __ percent of women felt lonely:

Turns out, those two things might be tighter than you think. Experiencing painful sex because of loneliness? Yeah, it's a thing. 

And guess what? That loneliness? It's like adding fuel to the fire of depression. 

Like, who needs that extra baggage, right? 

Sex is as natural as the human fingerprint. As unique as the person representing that fingerprint too. 

Addressing that loneliness could be your secret weapon against those depressive vibes. It's like flipping the script on life's little challenges.  

Imagine going to the beach and leaping in the ocean with thousands of people. Sounds great right. The only problem is that YOU are the only person not getting wet. 

Everyone around is soaked in cool water. And you are hotter than a Texas sidewalk in August! What the fv3k heck! How does this happen? 

This is how our friend Tamara expressed her life with painful sex.

Tamara had married the love of her life which made the painful situation worse. 

The first time they had sex was a disaster. 

She was in pain, and he felt loss. He didn’t know if he did something wrong, and she felt the same. Their confidence and mental health took a serious hit. 

“I felt like a failure,” she cried as she opened up. 

They figured they were new to the party. 

Both of them were sure sex had to get better with time and practice. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the case for them. 

A year and some change later, penetration was still unbearable. 

They both enjoyed oral sex. Things were great in that department. The story wasn’t so ‘happily ever after’ when it came time to ‘body adventure’ time. 

Her mental health shared the same fate as her sexual health. It wasn’t long before their relationship started to take big hits!

Society is starting to open up about mental health.

Making those conversations a bit less taboo. But when it comes to sexual health? It's like we're still stuck in the VCR rewind loop. 

Our friend Tamara and her partner tried it all.

They had deep and open conversations. Communication was in full swing. They shopped for toys together. Bought every lube under the sun and watched explicit videos together. 

Nothing helped. It was time to get help. 

“Having these conversations with people is not fun. It’s not common to be open either.”

Counseling with a sexologist that included homework over an extended time. That’s what worked for them.  

It was a combination of different approaches that created the best solution. 

Keep in mind that everyone’s body, mind, and situation are different. Try these to help improve painful sex:

• Professional counseling

• Education on vulval pain 

• Physio exercises 

• Using a dilator 

• Practice with a dildo

• Acupuncture 

• Authentic Tantra

Believe your situation can improve over time.

 You are not to give up on your human right to sexual pleasure

Our FS family friend  Dr. Kaitlyn Goldsmith, has some valuable information. Her work helps many people champion life in and outside of the bedroom. 

Never forget that you are not out at sea by yourself. 

Many people deal with vulvar pain. The great thing is there are resources and professionals to help. More valuable things that you may want to consider:

• Get an official diagnosis from your primary doctor

• Identify and remove triggers; what hurts

• Educate yourself with up-to-date information

• Treatments: pelvic floor physiotherapy, psychotherapy, and sex therapy

 Your story doesn’t end here. A clinical scientific study:

Numb isn’t only strict to physical, it’s intellectual. To new ideas, new experiences, new feelings, to all of it. 

Numbness feels secure and brings false safety.

Skin begins to look pasty because you haven’t erased me. 

Open the door, face me. 

I made your mind dissociate, now you’re all mine.

Embrace me. 

Who am I? You have to dig deep to face me.

You can’t rush me, bury me or try to run away. 

Professor: Why you keep bringing up my past

This too shall not pass, you must address me

-Trauma

We integrate sexual and mental well-being, inviting everyone to join the conversation. Share your story or questions by replying to this email.