Contemplating a breakup

Celebrating a breakup? Questioning if the love was real? 

1. Joy is a core pillar of mental wellbeing.  

2. Associating with what doesn’t serve you, isn’t you. 

A divorce is filed every 10-13 seconds! Damn!! 😦 On a high note married folks are far more likely to have a net worth of $250,000+ vs. the singles. 

Our choices collide creating a universal flow of new beginnings for us all. Life has an agenda of its own. Sometimes we are the ride. 

• We build routines to stay afloat 

• We lose awareness of things that matter

• We waste energy and words on things that are not meaningful  

Taylor is no stranger to the ebb and flow of life. He compares his divorce to a natural disaster.

“Stress can drown you in anxiety and depression. You get to a point where you can’t take it anymore. What was once impossible becomes your only solution for survival. I knew I had to get a divorce,” he said.  

Sometimes you must go through the storm to reach the sunny shores of opportunity.

“Some people see divorce as a brick wall. It collapses their world. I knew there was a golden opportunity on the other side. Breaking down walls becomes my only hope,” Taylor said with pain yet optimism in a shaky voice. 

Your entire marriage flashes before your eyes. There is a mix of happy and sad moments. Emotions are all over the place.

One moment you can’t leave, but then you can’t bear the thought of staying in a marriage that doesn’t give you what you need. Thought process during a 22 month divorce. 

He was in an amusement park.

Every divorce is not as challenging as Taylor’s. Some people agree to disagree and find a sense of joy in helping each other evolve. 

For most people, divorce takes a toll on the body, mind, and bank account. It's easy to understand why people become depressed, even others feeling liberated.

To share their freedom and empowerment with those close to them. 

You can go for a weekend away, curl up on the couch with your favorite ice cream, or dance the night away.

Either way, how you celebrate your transition into a new beginning is your choice. 

Questioning if the love is real by celebrating your divorce? Thinking to hid away from all of earth in your bed?

Conflict avoidance eats at relationships overtime. Don't avoid the relationship with yourself.

We read through the world's longest happiness study. And:

Social isolation and loneliness can be as harmful to health as smoking or obesity. Don't isolate. Don’t stay in unhealthy relationships. Stay connected.

There are no right or wrongs in this situation. These are tools not rules. You've had enough rules.

It’s only natural for your emotions to spill out and run wild. There is a collage of emotions before and after a divorce.

That internal conflict. Tugging at our emotions. You're feeling up, down, and confused. That feeling, is cognitive dissonance. 

Finally, the 22 month long divorce was over. A gift box of emotions. His heart was an assorted box of chocolates. There were flavors of bitter and sweet sprinkles everywhere. 

He read about people celebrating their divorce as a way to symbolize a change in their life. 

Taylor’s body set off an alarm.

“That’s exactly what I will do,” he thought to himself, “I will transform in front of the world.” He wanted to take his power back with the divorce.

He didn’t want to be sad, nor should he be. 

Although, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. Part of him felt as if he was throwing a big ‘FORGET YOU’ right in her face.

That wasn’t what he wanted at all. This divorce party is about liberation.

He didn’t know how to shake it off. Someone suggested that he try a exercise. Taylor jumped at the idea because he really felt unsettled in his heart and mind. 

He was starting to feel anxious and fumble things around the house. The stress was getting to him. He decided to do something about it before it got worse. 

The instructions read the following: 

• Write down what you remember feeling before the divorce. 

• Write down how you feel when you think of where you were. 

• Write down what you think your previous self would advise you today.

• Write down how you feel, keeping your promise to yourself.

• Write down a list of reasons why you should celebrate.

• Write down a list of reasons you should not celebrate.

• Weigh the evidence and follow your heart. Be your own priority!

After Taylor finished the exercise, he noticed that he felt different.

A thought popped into his head:

“It’s hard to feel good about your decisions when you're fighting a war within yourself.”

He admitted to himself that healthy relationships liberate emotional and mental stress. He had his reasons to celebrate. That’s all that mattered.

He realized it was time to put his previous marriage behind him.

He was ready to embrace a new beginning with style! Feeling yet moving. "Yeah, that's the move. Not burying the thought, growing from it.”

Divorce has some devastating facts. Before celebrating the union of your relationship:

• Learn how to fight fair - 69% of problems are perpetual

• Have contingencies in place

Have discernment w/ personal attacks & self-inflicted wounds

Family friend,  Malia Moore - Founder of House of Healing gives her expert advice.

She has devoted her life to being a forever student of all things sensual, sexual, and liberating embodiment of self. Read her advice here!

We integrate sexual and mental well-being, inviting everyone to join the conversation. Share your story or questions by replying to this email.