We honor you

You know, it’s not the clothes. It’s not how you style your hair. It’s about Embracing Every Curve, Cherishing Every Aspect of you. But like…how? ⬇️

Dear Feeling Seen,

What steps to take to feel comfortable in my body during intimacy? I'm currently on a self-love journey to loving myself as a person & loving my body.

Sincerely, 

Embracing All of Me, Inside and Out 📍Countdown Cty 210 

We honor you. Your words spark a deliberate vibe coming into this new year. Self-love and intimacy are key ingredients for a healthy and fulfilling life.

Body image is deeply connected to sex and intimacy. With sex, you can f*&k your way through it and not even be in it. Intimacy weaves through the physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual aspects of our lives.

Respecting your intimacy, arousal is what’s most affected by a negative body image. Steps to consider:

• Treat yourself like a best-friend, not an enemy

• Focus on self-care, what does that look like for you

• Celebrate what you like about yourself, often

• Set goals. Achieve goals. Become a doer not a dreamer

• Meditate. Your emotions and thoughts will be more +

Embracing yourself isn't about adoring every inch of you; it's about acknowledging every piece of you.

Self-acceptance is embracing all parts of you without judgment, while self-love is nurturing and cherishing your inner being.

Discomfort with your body creates barriers that block your pleasure. Practice and patience are our sword and shield. Practice makes each experience better.

Patience protects us during random moments of vulnerability. Comfort with your body will improve with practice and patience!

Unhealthy messages in social media, society, and what we tell ourselves takes our intimacy and sexual connection offline.

Formula One: 🏎️

No, this isn’t “Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally”, teaching PEMDAS in American schools. Sorry 😝. We have a different set of steps. To help you get to what matters, processing emotions.  

Emotion is stimuli. Feelings are the mental constructs we wrap around our emotions. Feelings come after emotions.

Our working definitions:

Emotion = Constructs created by our nervous system in response to sensory info, guiding our actions and explaining how we feel in any situation. Internal and/or external stimuli in the present moment.

Feelings = Come into play once we’re aware of our emotional experience. This is the conscious level of our thinking. The development and attitude toward our emotions.  

Thought = Mental cognitions: our conditioning, biases, judgements, and beliefs about ourselves and the world. 

Emotions only last 90 seconds at a time

These emotions create our feelings. Lingering emotions are our feelings, shaping our thoughts. At times, we give too much attention to these feelings.

You heard the saying, "Where attention goes, energy flows"?

YOU can change the way you process your feelings, thoughts and how you act upon them. Emotions start unconsciously, the evaluation of a situation. So let’s discuss the conscious. Try this formula:

Feelings + Thoughts = Action 

Work backwards (all math teachers rejoice in saying, “show your work” 😝) 

1. Change the way you feel by finding awareness and discernment

2. Once your feelings have changed, your thoughts will follow suite

3. Your action is the equal of the above and will follow suite

If you’re looking for something more tangible, these two books are for you:

• Handbook of Positive Body Image and Embodiment: Constructs, Protective Factors, and Interventions

• 90 Seconds to a Life You Love: How to Master Your Difficult Feelings to Cultivate Lasting Confidence, Resilience, and Authenticity

1. Tap in & sit with how you feel, allowing yourself to simple feel

2. Allow thoughts come up and let them pass without judgment

3. Deep breathing through the experience 

4. Journaling is a healthy and productive outlet

Movement plays a significant role in the expelling of negative self thoughts. Sometimes you don't need to process every detail of what happens.

We often live in our thoughts and they become stuck, which can cause illnesses. Get up, dance, throw your arms in the air - rejoice. 

Here are some things you can do to improve your body image and enhance intimacy:

• Focus on appreciating the things you like about your body.

• Challenge negative thoughts: challenge them with more positive self-talk.

• Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself and who appreciate you.

• Take care of your body and mind. With healthy eating, exercise, and relaxation techniques.

• Do a boudoir session to boost your confidence by 87%.

• Consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.

• Share body image worries with your partner; discuss how they affect closeness.

• Take expectations off of the table. Focus on being present and your [mutual] pleasure.

• Celebrate your body for all that it does for you. This could include expressing gratitude for your health, strength, and resilience.

CULTURAL DIVERSITY

In the culture of France, women have a deep connection to self-care routines. Life is better when you know how to love yourself 😉 Curious to know, what do you think they do!?

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