is your partner a narcissist 🤨

I’m going to break this down for you. Since you put up with my stuff.  

You think...your partner is a narcissist. 

whoa!   

Your partner has narcissist personality disorder? Are you safe?

Roughly .5% - 5% of the US population has it. 

That’s ~1,667,500- 16,675,000 in the US. 

Here: difference in npd & narcissism. 

My mind can’t help but go back to a convo that I had with my friend Josie.

Josie was in a relationship with someone she suspected was a narcissist for three years. 

I know… crazy right. I was thinking the same thing. That had to have been a rollercoaster!

How she described her situation to me was like this:

“The gaslighting made me think I was going crazy. 

I was starting to doubt myself. 

My friend told me she dated a narcissist for five years and lost a piece of herself.

 She had to ask permission to go eat. Anything not on his prescribed “meal plan” and said none of it ever helped the sex last.

Never thought that would be me..🙄”

In the beginning everything was bliss. 

Her prince charming. 

Happiness. 

Fulfilled. 

Six months down the road they hit a pothole and have detoured ever since. 

Josie, desperate. She didn’t understand what was happening to her. 

It was like being caught up in a storm. She never knew which direction lightning would strike. Then all of sudden, skies were clear and things were okay again. 

The back and forth was weighing on her. She knew that she needed to get help. 

Josie wasn’t ready to let go. She’s felt the depths of his love.  At the same time, it was a PhD wtf confusing because she never knew consistency. 

A lack of consistency drives our nervous system crazy.

When we start feeling uncomfortable in our body, our mind starts to play tricks on us. This is when self-critical talk and self-blaming can creep into the picture. 

Josie’s counselor suggested a simple skill that could help change the weather a bit. She learned how to have “emotion-free” communication. For clear skies. 

Josie knew. Her partner was looking for a reaction. 

Many people who have narcissist behavior know what they are doing. Driving you up the wall is their way of maintaining control.

Tip to learn how to communicate “emotion-free” so you can be “stress-free” 

Learn how to communicate “emotion-free”

• Keep the communication short and simple. Make sure you are specific and to the point.

• Do not question their sense of superiority. Just let it roll off your shoulder and keep the end of the communication in sight.

• Do not engage them if you do not agree with something they are saying. They won’t see it from your perspective. 

• Use quiet and active listening to understand what they really want and filter through the drama they are trying to create.

• Look them directly in the eyes if you are talking in person. This shows a narcissist that you are respecting them, but at the same time, you are showing your own strength.

• Maintain your boundaries. Don’t allow a narcissist to cross your physical or emotional boundaries.  Let them know these are lines that will not be crossed regardless of how they feel. 

• Keep your support system because being in a relationship with a narcissist can be very draining. Sometimes, it can be unsafe or unpredictable.

Josie’s been spending time with her support group. They give her knowledge, comfort, and support. We all need a strong team to help us weather the storm.

Checking in with your local support groups or online community is like sunshine on a rainy day.

The warm words of encouragement and people listening with their hearts bring a sense of relief.

Take this quiz now if you suspect narcissistic energy from a partner: Yes or No?

• Constantly seek admiration and praise

• Feel entitled to special treatment

• Are very charming

• Feel as if nothing is their fault

• Love bomb much!

• They lack empathy

• Have a constant need for attention

• Don’t recognize other’s needs

• Changes mood quickly

WARNING:

If you answer yes to 4 or more questions seek additional support TODAY!

What do you feel about tonight’s note?

Don’t leave me on seen, reply. Would love your feedback.