Have Sex.. But Never Orgasm?

But why!? Today we’re answering why you only have orgasms with vibrators and other sex toys. Not a partner. 

Dear Feeling Seen,

I cannot for the life of me orgasm with him (I'm female). I can get off with a vibrator but haven't liked fingering ever. What can I do? 

Your Friend, Go Orgasmless or go to Vibrator Heaven📍NYC

Oh the frustration. Sad, but for some that’s more than enough to split up.

The “crescendo” route is unique for all. Having an orgasm takes more than two bodies grinding.

Climaxing has more to do with psychological than it does physiological. 

All women are unique.

You have different nerve pathways than the next.

Knowing how you like your vibrator touching you is an absolute joy 💦 for you Vibrator Heaven.

Also for your partner.  Question, are you "performative" with your partner?

So you aren’t performative?

Yet, you feel the “show” has never been good, right? Hence you have to perform. We honor that, it's real. 

You may have to show your partner how to touch you. Continuing education in the bedroom is always a delight when well received and given. 

Remember LIPS:

location, intensity, pace, and stroke

Do you feel you’ve been guiding him through the process? The devils in the details.

Take expectations off the table. Paired with the 5 Principles of Sexual Communication are great starters. 

Don’t skip straight to the end. Let the build up continue. There’s countless reasons partnered orgasms haven’t happened yet. 

“The keys to their more frequent orgasms lay in mental and relationship factors.” 

That's at least what scientific studies state, we approve this message. 

What turns you on?

Wine? THC? Flowers?

Discipline and keeping your word? 🤔 Literary porn? Erotica? 

3s Company, erotica from a FS friend 😉. 

Our research shows more women care about their partner's pleasure. Even more than their own! 

If it's not mutual, let ‘em go!

For your partner(s)…

• What worked in the past

• What has worked on another 

• Does not mean it will work today

• As pleasure is continual exploration

• Listen to receive, speak for clarification. 

Men on average ejaculate within 2-7min from the “can I? It's only the tip” request. 

Message! This is an important tip. 

Are you performing foreplay or trying to get straight to coreplay? Create sacred space.

Speak from your soul, not from what a street artist told you to say. 

Remember when you used to grind on each other when 1st,  2nd or 3rd base meant everything!

Move your hips like that, you don’t want to be stiff in the hips.  

For All Parties:

Oftentimes our partner (and ourselves) is in a state of compartmentalizing.

You know. A psychological defense mechanism that involves separating conflicting thoughts and emotions. 

AKA we’re often too caught up in our thoughts. Taking us out of our body and from the present moment. 

Sex is better when you have intimacy. Intimacy isn’t a performance. It’s felt. 

Before proceeding, always check in with your doctor first. 

Think of your vulva [or penis] like an antenna.

When there is a disconnect it’s your body's way of trying to talk with you. The problem is you don’t speak your body's language, you speak English. 

Sex is easy. Intimacy is hard. It doesn’t have to be this way. 

If you’re new to learning the language of your body:

• Slow down

• Do 21 or more deep breaths 

• Stop all together and connect [with self]

• Remember to nourish your 5 senses (touch, taste, smell, sound, sight)

• Say what’s on your mind, 

  • 2 pts for poking fun about the experience 😜 3 pts if you can handle the joke

The 3 Top Blocks to Bliss: 

• Lack of Stimulation

• Lack of Education

• Lack of Awareness

CULTURAL DIVERSITY

Mondei Whitei - A perennial plant found in Sub-Saharan Africa.

• Increases arousal

• Improves sexual performance

• Intensify orgasms

Also helps with men’s infertility and has antidepressant properties.

Share your perspectives, concerns, or boldest bedroom tales. Let's inspire one another. Submit below! ◡̈

Submit your story and question HERE!