Be unique, dingleberry 💩

You like using words of endearment. Don’t lie, it’s ok you hopeless romantic you!  More than 2/3rds of US couples use pet names in their relationship, try it. 

When we speak from our heart, we're speaking our feelings.

Our thoughts run circles around our feelings. Expressions of endearment can put our emotions on display for the world to see.

This a grand gesture of our authentic self. Being courageous and vulnerable like we're out at sea.

Pro Tip when using endearing names: Be unique, you dingleberry! 

In some people, pet names trigger brain chemicals and hormones that make people feel. Feel special, appreciated, loved, and wanted. 

For others, pet names cause the body to flood with stress hormones. Increasing feelings of anxiety and discomfort.

Our childhood experiences can influence whether pet names make us ‘jump for joy’ or ‘run for the hills’.

Ask: How do you feel about cute lovey dovey names we say to each other? 

Our friend Colt, started calling his girl ‘honey’, it was obvious things were getting sweet. 

The way he sounded when he called her honey for the first time sounded like ice cracking. Nowadays it rolls off his tongue like hot butter. We were sure, he was hooked.

It’s true-76% of people who use pet names are in happy relationships. The other 24% don’t feel the same, and using pet names may have something to do with it. 

#message be careful not to read too much into a person using terms of endearment. It could merely be habit, level of comfort, or even cultural. 

If the relationship boundaries are already in place standing guard, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. 

“Situationships” → If nobody has a crystal clear understanding of the boundaries then you’re single. Put all your eggs in one basket if you want to.

“People call each other ‘honey’. It's a way to say I'm interested in ‘em. It doesn’t mean that I care deeply or that I’m in love with her. We just met!” 

Colt mentioned to his friend when he suggested he was falling hard.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like her. She’s great! I ain’t rushing anything though. She has my attention. Let’s see what the future holds.”

When your intuition is feelings confused on the pet names try the below ⤵️

1. Ask, “You gave me a name, what does it mean to you?” LISTEN close!

2. Have conversations about emotional management and expectations. 

3. Take a step back if the direction you’re going in is not comfortable.

Words of endearment can mean a lot or a little. You won’t know until you ask.

What’s most important is…YOU:

• How do you feel about your partner using words of endearment?

• What do you expect to change because you and your partner use words of endearment?

Colt mentioned, “She was loving when I called her honey. Then she started asking what calling her “honey” meant to me.

Shit I wanted to say, you taste sweet to me 🍯. 

I knew she wasn’t with the shits though 😂. All I could tell her was that we’re still getting to know each other but my attention is with her. ”

He said it in an inquisitive way..  “She asked me, what’s my intention since I have your attention.” You could tell he didn’t know how to respond and he’s thinking. 

The point is you always want to be clear on intentions and how/when speaking. 

If we are to verbalize and communicate love, we must use kind words.

Sometimes our voices are saying one thing, but our tone of voice is saying another. Your partner will usually interpret your message based on tone of voice, not the words you use.

Words are impactful but the tone of voice is key!

Don’t only consider what is being said. Be mindful of how words are being said.

Despite relationship status, you’re always attractive when you work on yourself. Also when you ask questions and listen to know another.

Read up on attachment theory to get a refresher and see what you notice. Stop skimming today’s read and take the quiz here!

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